BRUTAL LEGEND (Xbox 360)
Actually, only played the demo, just to see if it was as boring and as bland as anticipated. Sorry, I know everyone jerked off to Psychonauts, which wasn’t horrible per say, but also nowhere near as amazing as everyone made it out to be either. Easily one of the most overrated games of last gen. As for Tim Schafer’s latest, I actually found the demo to be fairly decent, though I was hardly shocked that Jack Black’s one-liners became stale almost immediately. Anyhow, you’d think the mixed reviews that it’s been getting would make me sit back and grin, but I actually want to pick up the whole thing, now that I hear that it’s a hodgepodge of all these different gameplay elements. Even if some don’t work as well as others, I won’t be as bored if the whole thing was a long, God of War-like experience, since I already mentioned how I find such fare kinda boring.
Thought the most important thing is how it handles its subject matter with a modicum of respect; it’s been odd seeing heavy metal becoming the latest source of laughs. Hence why I was initially very resistant to Metalocalypse, though in the end, Brendon Small knows his sh*t. Which reminds me of the story Mooney once told me, when he was wearing a Megadeth shirt at some party or something; random dude came up to him and said “Hehe… Megadeth, that’s funny.” Which Mooney responded with, “Funny? What’s funny about Megadeth? THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT MEGADETH!” But you know, lol hipsters.
KATAMARI FOREVER (PS3)
I remember when the PSP version came out a few years back and my buddy Job, who was as much of a Katamari fanatic as I was, basically said “It’s about as empty and soulless as one could possibly imagine.” In the end, I felt it was a bit of an exaggeration… it certainly lacked a certain something, due to the creator not being involved, though the biggest issue was the gimped controls, but that’s more the hardware’s fault than anything else. After that came the 360 version, Beautiful Katamari, which I actually dug quite a bit, since the power of the system was used quite well. So here we are with it’s grand return home, spiritually speaking, and it is indeed time to finally retire the franchise.
In this post:
1. It’s rare, I know, but here I just talk about some of the games I’ve been playing.
BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM (PS3)
Here’s another game whose hype I just don’t get. Above all else, the game is so visually heinous that it seriously makes me not want to look at it. Which of course has an adverse effect on the notion of playing it as well. Though the ultra bland combat hasn’t done a thing for me either; I just find it to way too floaty. Then again, have never been a fan of God of War type games, despite wanting to like them… I just become super bored in no time flat. But I grew so immediately bored with GoW as I did with Arkham Asylum, though the more I played, the more the enemy’s AI began to shine through. Perhaps the later boss battles are insanely fun, though I shudder to think how they might look. Also, I did dig the MGS-elements (I’m all about sneaking around), so perhaps some of the hype is warranted. Might see for myself at a later point.
LITTLEBIGPLANET (PS3)
Okay, I know this game came out two years ago, and despite thinking it was annoyingly overrated and at the end of the day, unfun to an obscene degree, I picked up a copy recently anyway. Mostly because, it’s just one of those things that every PS3 owner should have in his or her library, especially if they have a background in game design. Plus, I had just finished Metal Gear Solid 4 yet again and desperately needed something new for my console. Anyway, I played it for like 20 minutes before becoming bored, and never turned back, though Katie began giving it a go recently. And her reaction to the game wasn’t at all different than most others: “Hey, this is awesome! … Well that’s certainly interesting… What’s going on here? What am I supposed to do? … Enough with the stupid narration… WHAT THE F*CK IS UP WITH THIS STUPID CONTROL?!?!”
BAYONETTA (PS3)
Again, the demo version, and from Japan. Much as been said about the differences between the 360 version and the PS3’s, such as how the one for Sony’s system is essentially a port, and not a very good one at that. Thankfully, I have a standard definition set once again, which means that I really can’t tell how bad the graphics are! Mostly those so-called muddy textures… though it’s hard to ignore the jittery animation, no matter how antiquated the set might be. Technical deficiencies aside, the game thus far isn’t shaping up to be anything special. It’s essentially Devil May Cry except with a hot chick instead of a semi-metrosexual dude, which I suppose is understandable since it’s by the same creative force. Though you’d think, with no one to answer but himself, with no major publisher to appease, one would want to try something a little bit different. But no, not really… a major point that I tried emphasizing during my Games From Japan VS. Games From America panel at the NYAF as yet another fine example of why the Japanese scene is so badly suffering. The game emphasizes style, a point that is driven home quite strongly with its jazzy-like score, very reminiscent of Cowboy Bebop. Would have been far more interesting ten years ago. But today…,Replica Handbags; boring. Make no mistake, I’ll nab the full game once it comes out, if only because it features a woman who gets naked to dish punishment, plus she shoots rather stylish looking firearms. But I’m hardly expecting a re-invention of the genre, though everyone else seems to. Also, I’ll definitely be picking up the 360 version!
If you’re into video games, there’s a good chance that you’ve been very busy as of late. With the holiday season rapidly approaching, the high profile or otherwise highly anticipated titles have been rolling in at a rapid pace. This week alone saw Uncharted 2, Brutal Legacy, A Boy And His Blob, Half-Minute Hero… the list goes on. And to further sweeten the frenzy, there’s been the buy two, get one free deals at both Toys R Us and Amazon. Though I have yet to nab my six or nine games that I’ll play for just fifteen minutes this weekend before putting them on my self to collect dust for the next three months, minimum.
MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER’S INSIDE STORY (DS)
Simply put, one of the best DS games of the year, which is saying a lot given how many truly awesome titles there have been, including Flower, Sun, and Rain of course. And let’s be honest now… when you get down to it, forget the PS3, the Xbox 360, and even the Wii… the one system that has consistently delivered for the past couple of years has been Nintendo’s handheld. Anyway, I’ve only scratched the surface of Mario & Luigi 3, but thus far, it’s everything one could ask for in a portable RPG, and one of Mario’s finest outings yet, regardless of platform. It’s that damn good. The story is awesome and the gameplay is phenomenal, a great mix of rhythm oriented/time-based actions. The music is insanely catchy, and as others have noted, the pixel work in the game is seriously some of the best, for any game, ever.
But seriously, I’ve been busying playing like crazy and figured it wouldn’t hurt to pass along my quick and dirty two cents on at least a few of these games. For some, expect a more detailed, full-fledged review in the very near future. As for the rest, not so much, as you’ll see…
… Well, it’s getting late (still kinda sick, enough to skip out on my pal Mal’s birthday party earlier this even… despite the fact that every shindig featuring a just turned 21 year old girl and her friends in the same age range should have at least one creepy 32 year old dude) and I just realized that I’ve yet to give the Wizard of Oz: Beyond The Yellow Brick Road (otherwise know in Japan as RIZ-ZOAWD, a much cooler name, sorry) a spin! Also, even I’m getting tired of all this PS3 bashing. So till next time…
CRITTER CRUNCH (PS3)
My first taste was as judge for the Independent Games Festival’s inaugural mobile division at GDC 08 and have been in love with it ever since. It was actually my very first iPhone game purchase last year and still gets plenty of play to this day. So needless to say, I’ve been dying to get my hands on the HD version (despite being on a SD set) ever since I first laid eyes on the initial screenshots from Brandon Boyer’s now dearly departed corner of Boing Boing (Offworld, RIP). So now that it’s here, how awesome is it? Fairly awesome… though sadly, it’s just one of those games that just works better on a mobile device as a means of distraction when the MTA is being stupid again. Otherwise, a tad bit on the boring side. But at least it looks wonderful!
UNCHARTED 1 (PS3)
Before diving head first into this fall/winter’s most wanted PlayStation 3 release, I finally picked up the first one on Saturday (in Brooklyn, otherwise known as the land of broken street dates; folks were selling Uncharted 2 all the Fulton Street Mall area, albeit for inflated prices, with the highest being around $75). It’s rare when a game actually lives up to the hype, yet Uncharted manages to do just that. To be honest, I had zero idea what to actually expect… perhaps due to the insane amount of pomp and pagentry that’s surrounded the game since day one. And you know me, the more people like something, the more I want to hate it. Was anticipating some grandiose, in your face adventure that immediately failed to deliver on its promises, or at the very least tried way too hard to impress right from the get-go. Hence why I was almost taken aback by how low-key and almost humble the very beginning turned out. Which naturally becomes something as events unfold, at a thrilling pace. Also, the lead is just this ultra charming and identifiable bloke, something that virtually everyone tries to create but fails at miserably. Basically, the whole game is like Tomb Raider, but finally done right.
DIRT 2 (Xbox 360)
I’m an arcade racing fanatic, one whose really into rally racing, so it goes without saying that I’ve been on the hunt for a modern day equivalent to Sega Rally 1 on the Saturn, since… well… part 2 on the Dreamcast. I enjoyed the first DiRT but found it a bit too challenging, but kept going back due to the ultra sexy interface that CodeMasters is known for. That’s honestly why I picked up GRID in the first place. Which again I loved looking at, but not so much playing. And that’s why I love DiRT2 so much, since it’s a tad bit more approachable and forgiving. Hence why I assume most racing snobs hate it to death. That and it’s not 60 fps. Whatever. It’s still one of the prettiest games ever. And the interface… holy sh*t. Has to be seen to be believed.
As most folks know by now, it’s mostly a bunch of old levels, mixed with some new stuff. One of the new levels involves you watering an desert landscape with a Katamari that’s essentially a sponge that one must constantly moisten after it runs dry. And that’s pretty much where the new ideas ends, at leas the good ones. There’s plenty of new things, but most of them are not very good; the story involves the King getting bonked in the head and losing his memory. In response, the Prince and his cousins create a robot replacement, which ends up going haywire, so it’s the player’s job to both help jog dad’s memory (that’s where playing old levels come into play, as you’re re-visiting the past) and helping the Robo King rebuild stars. Trust me, what I just described sounds so much cooler than in practice, where the level structure is needlessly confusing. One very lousy new element is the point determination at the end of each round, which aside from being completely nonsensical and seemingly inconsistent, adds an element that’s supposed to make the game feel more like a game, which I guess is a noble intention, but in the end goes against the spirit of the original, which was more about having a good time than meeting all this laundry list of demands. Also unnecessary is the new look; everything is covered in a colored pencil-like graphics filter, which looks neat and all, but why is it there? I believe there’s a few other filers to unlock, but only like three, and there’s no 8-bit one, which seems like a ridiculously stupid oversight IMHO. Plus, there’s quite a bit of slow-down, which I can’t recall ever experiencing on the Xbox 360 version, as well as pop-up, which again I don’t remember on Microsoft’s machine so much. Poor Sony. Though the biggest new dumb thing is easily the jump, which actually doesn’t completely break the game as I had originally feared, mostly because of how utterly useless the move is. It can be pulled off via the R2 trigger or shaking the Sixxaxis/Dual Shock 3… any guess on which method doesn’t work 90% of the time and is exceptionally awkward?
I still haven’t completely cleared the game, hence why this isn’t a full-on review (again, still gotta figure out how to unlock those other visual modes). To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve played as much as I have… it’s not exactly a chore, but I’m not entirely having a blast either. So what’s kept me going? The absolutely gorgeous soundtrack. Believe the hype because it is AMAZING. It really says something when the remixes by renowned chiptunes supergroup YMCK provide the weakest tracks of the entire game. It really needs to be heard by every single Katamari diehard. Though the means to do so, i.e. playing Katamari Forever, might not be up everyone’s alley. Though until a soundtrack comes out, playing this game is the only real option.
In the bitter end, Katie finally gave up by stating “I’ve never felt so dicked around by a game, ever.” Katie goes on to explain: “I beat an entire level and with one life left, went to get to the last checkpoint and the geisha woman who had been helping me is sitting on an electric cloud, which I did not know, and bumped into. So I would have to do the whole level over again! NO. Also, I hate its smug developers with their unskippable photo credits in the beginning of the game. Congrats dickfaces, I h8 u.” And that’s all she wrote ladies and gentlemen!
MURAMASA (Wii)
Yeah… I think I’m finally done with this one. More or less every complaint I have has already been expressed in good enough detail me thinks (though I’m not sure if I mentioned the totally annoying map system… yes even the map sucks). I wanted to at least clear the girl’s story, but the final boss battle is practically unplayable due to the annoying controls. It’s basically this really big dude that spans multiple screens in every which way that you have to chip away at, one body part at time. Which involves lots of going up and up and up, as well as avoiding his guardians, making the lack of a proper jump button completely infuriating. Again, my mind is kinda blown at how good this game could have been, but how bad it turned out in the end.
Other articles: